Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

May 29th: Paper Clip Day


Never ignore the simplest things in life.  Just look what one man accomplished with One Red Paper Clip:



Monday, May 28, 2012

Sunday, May 27, 2012

May 27th: Pop-Up Toaster Patent Day


To celebrate the invention of the Pop-Up Toaster, I’d like to share a scene from one of my favorite stage plays: True West by Sam Shepard.

The set-up is this:  Lee (John Malkovic), a career criminal, visits his screenwriter brother Austin (Gary Sinise) who is house-sits for their vacationing mother.  While there, Lee manipulates Austin’s agent into shelving Austin’s latest screenplay in favor of a terribly conceived western of Lee’s invention.  When Austin refuses to help Lee write the screenplay, Lee says something to the effect of, “writing isn’t hard, anyway can write, you could never do what I do… Austin, you couldn’t even steal a toaster.”

Incidentally, I played Austin in a production of True West in Charleston, South Carolina.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

May 26th: Blueberry Cheese Cake vs. Cherry Dessert Day


In the tradition of Tupac vs. Biggy and the Hatfield’s vs. the McCoy’s comes a lesser known feud for the ages.  Blueberry Cheese Cake vs. Cherry Desserts… two separate observations scheduled for the very same day. 

In 1969, the Cherry, who had notoriously flaunted their status as the top selling fruit flavor, announced May 26th as their annual day of celebration to honor  their versatility as a dessert ingredient.  To many, this proclamation did not come a much of a surprise, but as you can imagine, this arrogance angered many fruits who had been trying to establish themselves as legitimate flavor choices.

Ultimately, less than a week later, it was the Blueberry, known for its quick temper, rash judgments, and flagrant disregard for authority who threw the gauntlets down at the Cherry’s feet.

Shocking the world, the Blueberry announced that it too would honor itself on May 26th in the form of Blueberry Cheese Cake. 

At first, the Cherry laughed off Blueberry’s maneuver, describing it as a cheap ploy and a transparent publicity stunt, however tensions grew more tenuous in 1971 when General Mills launched two monster themed cereals:  Count Chocula and Franken Berry.  The latter, a Strawberry flavored cereal, that Cherry claimed was originally intended to be cherry.

Consumed with rage Cherry tweeted, “Franken Berry?  It was supposed to be Franken Cherry!  That blueberry f---ed us!”

In response Blueberry tweeted, “Suck on your pits Cherry!  Wake up and smell the tiger’s blood!  Berry solidarity!  #winning.”

Ever since, the bad blood between these two fruits has been palpable.

Which team are you on?

Friday, May 25, 2012

May 25th: Nerd/Geek Pride Day

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It probably won’t come as much of a surprise that Nerd/Geek Pride Day falls on the anniversary of the theatrical release of Star Wars.  So… to celebrate your nerdness and geekdom, you have a few options.  You could spend the day cozied up to a case of Mountain Dew and String Cheese for a viewing of the ORIGINAL trilogy.  Or you could go to your local gaming store to play Magic the Gathering with high school students… or you could… hell...  just be yourself and proud! 

If you haven’t seen the movie American Splendor, shame on you.  It is Paul Giamatti’s finest performance.  Here is a hilarious clip of them discussing White Castles and Revenge of the Nerds:


Thursday, May 24, 2012

May 24th: Scavenger Hunt Day


On such an important day I would normally encourage everyone to plan a scavenger hunt with your friends… however, someone has posted the 1979 movie Scavenger Hunt (starring Cloris Leachman, Tony Randall, and Roddy McDowall) on YouTube.  Sure, it’s broken up into 10 minute segments, but the entire movie is there! 

It is probably a much better use of your time.  ;)

Here is part 1:


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

May 23rd: Lucky Penny Day


So… back in 1999 I went to film school and directed a short film called ‘Tom, Dick, and Penny’ about a business man and a bum fighting over a penny.  I think it is hilarious and I can’t think of any better way to celebrate Lucky Penny Day. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

May 22nd: Buy a Musical Instrument Day


I have been around musical instruments ever since I can remember.  My parents had a piano and I started taking lessons when I was around 4 or 5 years old.  My brother is one of the best saxophone players in the State of Georgia (legitimately)… and I also played trumpet for six years.  Sure… I haven’t practiced for quite some time and I have pretty much lost the ability to read music… however, still to this day, I can sit down at a piano or pick up a trumpet and bust out music, which is pretty awesome and a cool trick for my kids.

Learn an instrument people!  You’ll thank me later!

Monday, May 21, 2012

May 21st: National Waitress/Waiter Day


There is really no way to beat around the bush here.  Waiting tables sucks.  I’ve done it… and when you only get paid $2.13 an hour and have to rely on tips to make your rent and car payment, it is the closest thing to prostitution without having to be naked.  The stress of needing tips is what made me a terrible waiter.  In later years I have volunteered as a server at charity dinners and I was actually a rock-star of a waiter… which goes to show you… the subtext of needing money can ruin a good thing.

Sure, some waitresses and waiters make really good change and can compartmentalize the stress better than I could.  My wife was a fantastic waitress.  But no matter how good you are… waiting tables is a very demeaning job.

So, in honor of National Waitress & Waiter Day I encourage you to go out to eat.  Order something normal as it is written on the menu without substitutions… don’t forget to say please and thank you… and tip 30%!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

May 20th: Blue Jeans Patent Day!!!!


Today is a pretty special day for me… not really… but go with me here.  Once upon a time I was asked to describe myself in one sentence and after taking a moment to think I blurted out: “Well, I’m just a blue jeans wearing kind of guy.”  And that is all I needed to say.  I am just a blue jeans wearing kind of guy and if it wasn’t for my darn ‘respectable’ job and the fact that I currently live in the sweltering Caribbean I would where blue jeans every day!

So, happy patent day Levi’s!  And thank you for helping me define who I am!

Friday, May 11, 2012

May 11th: Eat What You Want Day


FINALLY!  The day I have been waiting for!  I want Taco Bell!... What’s that?  There is no Taco Bell is Suriname?  DANG YOU CRUEL WORLD!

Eat What You Want Day

When: Always on May 11th

What would you like to have to eat today? Okay, great.....health permitting, go ahead and have any and all of your favorite foods and snacks. Because today is Eat What You Want Day.

Eat What You Want Day is definitely not a day for diets.  It is one single, solitary day in the year to go off your diet and eat something you really enjoy, Today, you can set aside your dietary "No-No" list. Today, you can splurge. Tomorrow, it's back to the diet. It is important to note that today is not intended to eat as much as you want. Rather, the goal is to eat something you otherwise wouldn't have. If you are watching carbs or calories, simply keep within your limits by eating just a small amount of that favorite treat.

Caution: People with allergies and/or medical conditions, may not be able to fully participate in this day. Simply said: Do not risk your health to participate in this day.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

May 10th, 2012: Clean Up Your Room Day!


Oh yeah!  It’s ‘Clean Up Your Room Day’!  Can you dig it?

Clean Up Your Room Day

When: Always on May 10th

Clean Up Your Room Day is a day parents eagerly await........... and kids dread!

If you've got kids, it is very possible that their rooms are a vast wasteland, completely filled with "good stuff". "Messy" is too kind of an adjective to describe the conditions. It’s impossible to walk through the room. Every dresser and shelf (and under the bed), is packed with everything imaginable. Dust has been piling up as long as your child has been around. Comfy, cozy, and quite livable to the child, it’s an everyday source of frustration for the "folks".

To mom and dad's delight, and every child's chagrin, Clean Up Your Room Day arrives every May 10th. Get out the shovels. Call in an industrial sized dumpster. It’s time for everyone to clean your rooms!

Note to Kids: Clean Up Your Room Day also applies to your parents. You may want to inspect to assure that mom and dad practice what they preach!